Dodge City

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by Morley Evans

When pharmaceutical doctors I have known don't know something (which is frequent) they use these three dodges:

1). your condition is genetic meaning they can blame your parents
2). your condition is an auto-immune disorder meaning they can blame forces beyond anyone's control or understanding
3). your condition is psychosomatic meaning they can blame you "It's all in your head." They can refer you to a psychiatrist who could have you committed in some jurisdictions.

Being omniscient and omnipotent a pharmaceutical doctor can never say,"I don't know." Like soothsayers and other clairvoyants pharmaceutical doctors know everything about you as soon as you meet. Your doctor will know four or even five exotic and impressive-sounding words for every condition to remind you that he (or she) is a doctor who went for years to medical school. Medical schools only admit the exceptionally gifted and superior as everyone knows. But you would be better off going to a veterinarian who must know something about many species from horses, dogs, parakeets and cows to goldfish. A vet cannot con any of his patients, so he doesn't develop that capacity. Of course, a vet can con an animal's owner.