Brainless Automatons

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by Morley Evans

REPORT TO REGINA POLICE DEPARTMENT:

Yesterday (20101207) at 2:21 PM, I was driving west on Assiniboine Avenue. The sky was blue without a cloud, there was not a soul around, only the souls in the cemetery on the south side of the empty street. The pavement was clear of ice and snow. I was proceeding at a prudent speed without a care in the world. I was bothering no one. There was no one to bother. Of course that is why officer T. Hackywicz No. 768 was running a speed trap for the Regina Police Department. When he stopped me, I made No. 768 aware that I take a very dim view of armed robbery and suggested he look for an honest job. I paid the fine on the Internet this morning ($128). I have suggested to the Regina Police Department many times that it could serve the citizens by introducing driver education, but no one has ever listened to me. It is much easier to set up a speed trap which requires only the brainless operation of an automaton who can harass innocent people and collect cash. Dealing with the atrocious driving habits of Regina's motorists would be much more difficult. It would take a brain. Officer No. 768 claims I was driving at the breakneck speed of 42 miles an hour. Horrors! Of course No. 768 could have claimed I was going 90 miles an hour and there is nothing I could do about that either. I'm sure Officer T Hackywicz is a nice young man and I would like to apologize to him for losing my temper and swearing. Officer T Hackywicz thinks he is doing honest work. He isn't. But he is not to blame, the Regina Police Department is to blame. Your speed traps do not one thing to improve things in Regina. Instead you are just another road hazard in a city filled with ignorant dangerous drivers. I appreciate a place where I can let you know what I think. Please examine your policies and try to do better.

Speaking of speed traps! How is it possible for a child to run out of his classroom, across the schoolyard and leap over a ten-foot page wire fence to run in front of your car that is "speeding"? How does giving you a fine for "speeding" in a School Zone make any child safer? Do children who can perform such fantastic athletic feats as I have described need to be protected at all? They would certainly be able to leap over your car as well as tall buildings. A favourite School Zone speed trap used to be located on Hillsdale Street until they removed the page wire fence and opened a new school. They no longer have a speed trap there, if memory serves. School Zones are just another example of ridiculous regulations that do nothing to make the world a better place, but they do provide a source of cash.

Mothers Against Drunk Drivers (MADD) started their crusade because a drunk driver who killed a child had had previous convictions while driving drunk. Yet he was still driving a car! Why? Rather than persecute everyone, why not enforce the law? The "justice" department is infested with brainless automatons, that's why. They heard somewhere that the law should be applied equally to everyone, but they don't know what it means.

How about drivers who have run red lights at 60 mph and have killed people here in Regina? NOTHING HAPPENS TO THEM. I know of two specific recent cases.

And here in the home of Canadian Medicare, medical doctors can do anything at all and NOTHING HAPPENS TO THEM. Yet the people who wear pumpkins on their heads and cheer for Regina's football team think Regina has the best football team, the best drivers and the best doctors in the world. Could it be that decades of relentless brainwashing by the Regina Leader-Post newspaper has turned the people of Regina into brainless automations? Perhaps they heard we should forgive and forget.