© MMIX V.1.1.2
I agree 100%. "Now, men and women have probably been a mystery to one another since the time human beings were in trees; one reason people developed so many rules around courtship was that they needed some way to bridge the Great Sexual Divide."
As I was entering Grade 6, and rock and roll was replacing the culture that had existed before WW2, the world seemed to have no rules to learn and follow, no conventions, maps or guideposts. We were free. We were free to wander around unassisted, that is.
It was hard to know what girls wanted. They seemed to want boys who treated them with distain. Girls loved the heroes on the athletic squads, of course. They were the heart-throbs that girls usually chose. After choosing someone who treated them with disdain, girls could be unhappy and they could share their trials with their friends. They could then be just like grownups. Fifty years later, girls and women go on Oprah.
Then along came Hugh Hefner and the Pill. Boys would be able to get everything boys are supposed to want when they are 13. Things have gone down hill since then: sterility, infertility, AIDS, homosexuality, very bizarre sex crimes that were once unimaginable, child molestation, pornography everywhere, hate, insanity. D.I.V.O.R.C.E. Doom.
The world we live in is a disaster. What can we do? Here's what I do:
I like women. I don't care anymore what everyone else is doing. I haven't cared about that for a long time. I ignore the trends and the opinions of the opinion makers. I love beautiful women. Love is its own reward. Love makes you feel good. Not only that, people tend to like people who like them. It works with women. It works with beautiful women. The secret is being satisfied with the feeling. Do not attach her smile to a laundry list of things you want from her and expect her to deliver. Be happy with her smile. Be thankful for the feeling. Live in the moment. Most people won't know what you are doing. They will be confused. But if you are patient and consistent, they will start to trust you. Never betray their trust. If your expectations are zero, you cannot be disappointed, you will always be delighted with what you get and you cannot be taken over and abused. You are in control because you are in control of yourself. You will be a straight-shooter in a crooked world. You will be unique, young man.
Love makes the world go round. Love makes the world we live in worth living in. It works for me. Give it a try. Reach out. The alternative is to live inside a little cell without windows or a door.