21 Economic Models

© MMXI v.1.0.2
by Morley Evans


Explaining 21 economic models with cows:

SOCIALISM
> You have 2 cows.
> You give one to your neighbour.
>
COMMUNISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and gives you some milk, or not.
>
FASCISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and sells you some milk.
>
BOLSHEVISM & NAZISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both and shoots you.
>
BUREAUCRATISM
> You have 2 cows.
> The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other,
> and then throws the milk away...
>
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
> You have two cows.
> You sell one and buy a bull.
> Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
> You sell them and retire on the income.
>
SURREALISM
> You have two giraffes.
> The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
>
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
> Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has
> dropped dead.
>
AN INVESTMENT BANK
> You have two cows.
> You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
> of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
> debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get
> all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
> The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary
> to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority
> shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed
> company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with
> an option on one more.
> You sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States,
> leaving you with nine cows.
> No balance sheet is provided with the release.
> The public then buys your bull.
>
A FRENCH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you
> want three cows.
>
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
> and produce twenty times the milk.
> You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and
> market it worldwide.
>
A GERMAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,
> and milk themselves.
>
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
> You decide to have lunch.
>
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You count them and learn you have five cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
> You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
> You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
>
A SWISS CORPORATION
> You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
> You charge the owners for storing them.
>
A CHINESE CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You have 300 people milking them.
> You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
> You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
>
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> You worship them.
>
A BRITISH CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Both are mad.
>
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
> Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
> You tell them you have none.
> No-one believes you, so they bomb the sh#t out of you and invade
> your country.
> You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...
>
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> Business seems pretty good.
> You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
>
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
> You have two cows.
> The one on the left looks very attractive...